Independent Christian Science articles

Low Self-Esteem Healed

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For all of my life before coming to Plainfield I had very low self-esteem. Because of how poorly I felt about myself, I was willing to accept being treated very badly, to the point where I didn’t even feel like it was all that concerning if the people around me hated me or berated me verbally or even were physically violent to me. For myself, I had no boundaries that I made other people respect, because I had never learned to respect or care for myself. I was always a large guy, and because I COULD take the abuse, for some reason I thought I SHOULD take it. And when I was in romantic relationships, because I felt that loyalty was perhaps the most important trait, there was quite literally nothing that my partners could do to me that would have had me end the relationship, short of they themselves ending it.

This is why I am so grateful for Christian Science and for all I have learned here in Plainfield. Perhaps the first lesson I learned here that helped me was that our loyalty should be to God only, and never to person. I have since further learned that a misplaced sense of human duty will lead to moral idiocy, and when I look back on my past I can sure see that I allowed a lot of idiotic and immoral behavior because I thought a loyal person looked past the faults of others. It is no wonder I came to such a low place before coming here.

Another lesson I learned, was that since I — and all of us — are children of God, we should never accept any behaviors from those around us that demean us, or that we wouldn’t want to happen to other people, because to accept such behavior is to condone it, and to condone it is to place the temptation before others to act in such a way. Everyone loses when we forget our divine origin, and when we fail to follow the Golden Rule at all times. What a blessing it has been to me to be a member of this church and to learn what Christian Science has to impart regarding our oneness with God.

I am so grateful for the complete change to my character which the Christian Science that is taught here, and those years of practitioner support I was blessed with, brought about in me. I cannot really convey the full sense of relief and joy I now feel being free of that old self-loathing I used to be weighed down with each day. God is so good!

“None of Them That Trust in Him Shall be Desolate”

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In the Bible we read in Psalm 34:22 — “The Lord redeemeth the soul of his servants: and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.”

Part of the definition of ‘desolate’ in the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary is “Laid waste; in a ruinous condition.” That certainly described how my life felt before I came to Plainfield. Looking back it seems as though I unknowingly ran a long experiment on just how useless it is to try to exist without God, though to be honest I am glad I did, because it helped me to see how much I needed Him and also to be ready for what this church offers.

Having lived so long without Christian Science and then been brought here by God after such a low and truly desolate time, I have been so grateful to find how true it is that “none of them that trust in him shall be desolate.” I can’t say all the years I have been in Plainfield have been easy, but I can say I never felt “Solitary; without a companion” which is another part of the definition of desolate.

I am so grateful for God’s goodness and mercy, and for how much joy and love I have felt by being a member of this church. It truly makes me feel that I have been redeemed, with its definition of “To rescue; to recover; to deliver from.” Certainly God has done all of that and more for me. I am so grateful for God, for Christian Science, for this church, and for the years of practitioner support I had received here. It is such a constant blessing to be here.

A Heart Softened

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I am so grateful for all I have learned in Plainfield about Mary Baker Eddy’s pure Christian Science, and for how I have been healed and blessed and been thoroughly changed by all that I have experienced here.

When I was young, due to the circumstances I found myself in, I increasingly became more guarded and withdrawn. Eventually, this turned into a real hardness of my heart, and a deep apathy toward my fellow man. I foolishly thought that closing off my emotions made me stronger, but in the end I realized a simple fact: How strong could I actually be, if I could neither cry when the situation called for it, nor be there both physically and emotionally for others when they needed it.

I began to see how short-sighted my approach to protecting myself was when my first child was born, and I realized that the way I was living was both unhealthy and unworthy of passing on to a child. So I began to work to soften my hard heart, but without God in my life it felt all but impossible. The most I could manage was a personal sense of love for my immediate family, but there still was no love for others. It felt like there were only three or four people I was capable of loving.

So when I came to Plainfield, and started working with a practitioner here, I was quite grateful I was given an opportunity to see from her example what a fully functioning heart looked like. That example included both the ability to be loving and kind to all people everywhere, but also the ability to have firm boundaries that no one could cross. Eventually I realized it was an example of divine Love in action, where “Love is reflected in love” (S&H, p. 16) as Mrs. Eddy said. With that example, over the course of many years here, there was much “labor to dissolve with the universal solvent of Love” (S&H, p. 242) all the emotional issues I had and that old human sense of protecting myself which never did me any good at all, and I am so grateful to say that I have been fully healed.

And, even though my kids are adults now, I have still been given opportunities to show them what I have learned here about being loving while also having boundaries, so for that and many, many other reasons I am so grateful for all I have been taught in this church, and for how it has proven to me without a doubt that Christian Science works, and that it is exactly what the world needs to solve every issue. It is a constant blessing to be a part of this church.

Going to God for Solutions

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For a long time in my old professional career before I came to this church, and somewhat in my personal life at that time as well, I was the guy people came to to solve technical problems. I didn’t really seek out that identity, it is just the way things worked out, and once I realized people were coming to me troubleshoot their problems, I began to take it seriously, and started to read a lot more about computers and design and other things to make sure I was able to answer those questions well.

When I came to Plainfield, the practitioner I worked with for many years taught me that we must go to God for all answers, and to no longer rely upon that old human thinking. So I began to listen constantly with spiritual sense for the inspiration that comes from God only, and learned to prove that I am hearing the right voice through demonstration, and I was quite happy to find that the government of all things is on God’s shoulders, and that He will direct me in all my ways, as the Bible says.

That said, I have noticed once in a while that the temptation comes in to either provide a solution to a problem before God gives it to me, or to feel personally responsible for what is ultimately God’s work and order of events. Even things as seemingly small as writing emails must be done in God’s good time and with His Words, and to let myself be pressured into humanly pushing through is a sign that I am not keeping my thought quiet and focused on God only. How much better it is to follow what it says in James 1:4, “But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.”

I am so grateful for Christian Science, and for the constant reminder to wait on God and to trust in Him alone, and to know that “the Father that dwelleth in me, he doeth the works.” (John 14:10)

Judge Not

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I have been thinking today of Christ Jesus’ teachings that we “Judge not, that ye be not judged” (Matthew 7:1) and also “lead us not into temptation; but deliver us from evil.” (Luke 11:4) In the years before coming to Plainfield, I found that it was so easy to look out to those in my life, or in the world at large, and see people doing things I feel I wouldn’t do and then cast judgments. After coming here, however, and going through this process of learning Christian Science and having practitioner support, I have begun to see things in such a different way.

How can I say I wouldn’t behave in a certain way if I had the opportunities that others have, when God gave me a fairly large vocabulary and a fairly quick wit and I have used those gifts so many times in the past to cut other people down. How, also, could I say I wouldn’t behave in a certain way if I had other people’s burdens knowing that what I felt burdened with saw me lash out for years and finally get to point where I was contemplating suicide. Since I have succumbed to the temptations to use the opportunities God gave me in evil ways, and succumbed to the temptation to blame the burdens my mortal life gave me for how I was such a jerk before and for how I ultimately lost hope, it is clear that I have no stable footing to judge anyone.

I am so grateful for the way that Christian Science has provided me with the tools to really go inside my thought over time and start to cut away at those false beliefs and shut down most if not all of those judgments; and grateful as well that I could work with a practitioner to expose the errors I couldn’t see so that the process of its self-destruction could begin and I can finally be delivered from the temptations of these evils. I am so grateful to be here. Being a member of this church is a constant blessing!

Divine Love is our Father-Mother God

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I am very grateful to be a member of this church, and for all that I have learned here about Christian Science. It has been a great blessing for me to come here and learn that divine Love is our Father-Mother God. This has helped me, along with regular practitioner support, to let go of a whole lot, if not everything, of what was less than ideal about my early years, and to replace all that with the understanding of what God truly is to us. This past year, especially, I have been working on accepting that Mother Love of God, as that, was most difficult for me because, humanly speaking the word “mother” had a lot of negativity associated with it, but I am very grateful to say that the Motherhood of God now both feels right and comforting to me, and is something I am so thankful for. The blessings that Christian Science has brought into my life continue on a daily basis, and it is very clear to me that without Christian Science, this church, and practitioner support, I would still be as lost as I felt in the years before I came here. Thank you very much for tonight’s meeting, and all this church does. It is very wonderful to be here.

Praying for Our Adult Children

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I am so grateful tonight for all I have learned about Christian Science during my time at this church.

Recently I went to Massachusetts to see my adult children. I need to give gratitude to this church and practitioner support for teaching me how to listen with my spiritual sense so I knew the right days to plan for, and then the right time to leave that morning, and the type of praying I needed to do before, during, and after the trip, and also how to have my armor on in such situations.

Going into the trip, my kids and I made a few soft plans on what we might do, but in the evening of the first night, there ended up being a problem severe enough that my daughter felt she needed to file a police report. The events around this were quite stressful for her, and she wasn’t sure if it was the right decision, so I began to mentally work for her with truths I have learned here, such as two quotes from Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy: “Honesty is spiritual power” (p. 453) and “Let Truth uncover and destroy error in God’s own way, and let human justice pattern the divine.” (p. 542) I did my best to be a quiet support to her, but the decision needed to be hers and I offered no advice. Once she went through with it, she felt relieved but also a bit of fear.

I told her of a time where my grandfather went through something that could have been dangerous, and when he was asked later on why he wasn’t afraid, his answer was, “Why should I be afraid? I didn’t do anything wrong.” I let her know that in the same way she had not been the one to do anything wrong in this situation, so there was no need to be fearful. All she could do is tell the truth, which she did, and now she could hold to the fact that she did the right thing. The remainder of the trip went very smoothly.

Through this I could see why I felt led to be there on those days, and I am so grateful for the peace and poise I have gained here which allowed me to be useful during that time, but also gave me the ability to not absorb anything erroneous, so that I could come back here refreshed and ready to work. I thank God for Christian Science, this church, and practitioner support. Thank you!

Christian Science Teaches Faith with Good Works

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I am very grateful for tonight’s theme of Faith without works is dead, and for the clear fact that this church’s faith is indeed alive with good works that go out to bless all mankind. In the years before coming here, I encountered many churches that seemed to me to be all words of profession and no demonstration of works. Over time that lack of works disheartened me and I confused their dead faith for thinking that Christianity as a whole was incapable of being more than that. But then I came to Plainfield and saw that Christian Science provides the way to work for the world in a meaningful way, as Christ Jesus and Mary Baker Eddy taught. What a joy to find out that the Bible is not wrong or false, it is simply a matter of uninspired thought misinterpreting what the Bible teaches which led me astray. Finding this truly inspired interpretation here has changed my life completely around. I am so grateful for Christian Science, for practitioner support, and for all the wonderful books and articles we have access to. What a constant blessing it is to be a member of this church.

Resisting the World’s “Training”

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I am so grateful for this church and for all of God’s goodness that is freely given here.

Years ago, I had a small puppy, and a co-worker told me “either you’re training the puppy, or the puppy’s training you. There is no in-between.” That advice served me well during my time with that dog.

But it wasn’t until coming to Plainfield, and learning Christian Science along with having regular practitioner support, that I began to start seeing clearly the importance of resisting the “training” that the world thought and the human mind seems to constantly be trying to put us through.

Certainly it is clear that the news would attempt to train us to be fearful and to parrot their views, advertising would attempt to train us to purchase useless things so we feel complete somehow, our families might attempt to train us to put aside common sense to placate their desires, difficult people would attempt to train us to become aggravated, our bodies might attempt to train us to accept limitation or age, our bank account might attempt to train us that there is a lack of supply, and our past may have attempted to trained us in many poor behaviors and expectations. Even the autocorrect feature on my phone always seems to be trying to train me to say “Thank goodness” instead of “Thank God” and that seems to be a part of a larger issue where so-called artificial intelligence is trying to train the modern world to believe they can’t communicate or think without a computer in the midst of it.

In Doris White Evans’ book Sermons and Articles, she has the following quote: “Be so instant in Truth that error is always too late.” Learning to live this Science over these years has taken me away from the old stimulus / response way of thinking, where some bit of error would seem to come my way and then I would have had to figure out how to deal with it, to the point where my thought is now often so filled with Truth and Love that these suggestions of error are seen immediately as the offensive nonsense they are, and handled appropriately.

It has become clear to me that only through the understanding of Christian Science have I truly been able to recognize these erroneous attempts at training, and cast these evils out before they are able to wreak any havoc in my thought, in my body, or in my life. What a wonderful blessing Christian Science is! I am so grateful to Christ Jesus, Mary Baker Eddy, this church, and practitioner support for giving me the ability to fend off error and take in Truth and to more faithfully be the man God created me to be.

Honesty and Prayer Help Face Temptations That Impeded Weight Loss

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I have been feeling that I should share more about how my recent weight loss occurred, because it is more than simply eating less. If it was only that, then it wouldn’t qualify as a Christian Science healing, and this most certainly is a Christian Science healing, and one I am incredibly grateful for.

In order to begin making real progress toward this healing, I had to start being really honest with myself about the foods that I was eating, and whether the eating of those foods qualified as succumbing to temptation. And then, I needed to start answering the question of why I was allowing myself to negotiate with error in these circumstances. And then I had to admit that I, myself, was willingly putting myself in a situation where I would give life and power to error while simultaneously claiming some sort of victimhood around it. And finally, I needed to admit to myself that, if I was doing this for a candy bar or french fries or whatever, then what other errors was I allowing an unimpeded place in my life.

I am sure there are many people listening who can say honestly that the act of eating a candy bar is not an act of hatred against yourself and perhaps that is true. But for me, that is what a great number of foods and other things had become, a symbol of self-hatred that I finally realized I could no longer abide in my life, especially if I was going to name the name of Christian Science.

This has me now looking for anything in my life that qualifies as self-directed hatred, and working to get them all out of my life and to really make them permanently non-negotiable. A helpful way of thinking about this, I have found, is a sort of variation on the Golden Rule. Instead of ‘do onto others as you would have them do onto you’ I ask myself ‘is what I am about to do to myself what I would want for those I love?’ I know from this experience that this question will surely help uncover these problem areas — in other words, expose these errors! — and allow you to start specifically applying the truth of Christian Science to shore up your defenses while letting those errors destroy themselves.

None of this would have been possible without the pure Christian Science taught in this Church and the patient practitioner support I have received over my time here. I am so grateful for all that Christian Science has made possible in my life. What a constant blessing it is to be here.

Love is the liberator.